Going Mental
Mental training. We hear a lot about it, read about it, and know about the importance of it in sport. Mental training often involves concepts such as visualisation, techniques for focus in difficult training sessions and its use to maximise performance during events and competitions. In my opinion, mental training should ideally include all facets of your life. I believe that an integral part of mental training is to identify where any doubts and fears may lurk as well as the imbalances that we may hold within our work-life-happiness systems. It is right now that I am currently working hard on these aspects. It is important for me to recognise where I have doubts and what fears I have, what my main motivations are, my priorities, and why I truly do what I do. By working through this knowledge and eliminating these doubts is how I can truly develop myself, reduce doubt and fear (or do it anyway) and achieve my goals both in and out of the sporting arena.
It is paramount to be truly honest with yourself for this and ask yourself the right questions so that you can draw out where your true motivation and drive comes from and even more importantly know when this is coming from a positive or negative force and adjust accordingly. For example, is it actually more important for you to fit back into those size 8 jeans that are sitting in the cupboard or to run up that hill 10 seconds faster than you did last week? Why do you really sometimes justify that you need to sleep in an hour longer in the morning rather than get up and fit in that kick arse training session instead? Are you more frightened of not getting to the finish line of a race, or actually having to tell someone that you didn't make it? There are no wrong answers and either option is acceptable as long as you recognise them and know what it is that you are actually chasing.
5 Things that I have already learnt about myself in this process -
1. Tuesday is the day that I am least likely to train:
It is the day after rest day. The first day of the training week, so you would think it would be the most likely day to be motivated. I think that it has something to do with its tendency to be the busiest day of the working week for me, although a standard 9-6pm day. I possess a weird difficulty with getting out there for hard training sessions after a full day of work, maybe more so because I often feel more depleted from the mental tiredness of dealing with people all day rather than the physical tiredness. I also despise the winter, so I can be monumentally soft at starting a training session once the dark and cold of the night has already settled in. What I need to do is suck it up and get out there anyway. P.S. I am also a terrible morning person, so the option of a really early start for a session before work is almost a complete write off on days that I have to leave for work by 8am.
2. I am still terrified of riding my bike on the road again and getting hit by a car:
A few years ago now, only 5 weeks out from competing in the Shepparton Half Ironman, and in the best fitness shape of my adult life, I got hit by a car whilst out on a training ride on Beach Road. From this I tore my right calf muscle and did some serious damage to my knee. I recovered slowly and did not 'jump back on the bike' as quickly as I should have. The reality is that I have not effectively ridden out in road traffic since then, nor have I tackled the triathlon training for that distance level event. Until now. So both the race and getting back out cycling is an important monkey on my back that needs to be shaken off and a personal victory that I attach importance to.
3. I have a hang up about not being fast enough and about my weight:
I am not blessed with a natural athletic talent/ability or a physical build to go with it. I am currently actually very self-conscious about my weight. I also admit that I don't want to come last in the field or have someone scoff at what I'm doing because they don't think that I'm fit or fast enough to be competing. Yep it's out there, I sometimes do care what other people think. I also have half a wardrobe of nice clothes that I currently do not fit into, and I want to get back into them. Despite these somewhat superficial concerns, I am currently working hard at squashing these doubts and finding MY version of fast, MY personal best, and learning to feel more comfortable in my own skin.
4. I am mentally tough enough to get through almost any training session once I have started it:
I may not have the ease of ability, but I can work hard and I can make up for it with heart. I don't quit once I'm out there. I hold zero doubt about my mental ability to tough something out. This is an important strength for me as I believe that the physical strength and prowess can catch up to my mental strength over time.
5. I find triathlon training a comforting proof that despite having rheumatoid arthritis (RA), I will not be rendered physically useless:
This point probably requires its own dedicated post. For those playing at home that are unfamiliar with what RA is, here is a definition:
rheumatoid arthritis
- a chronic progressive disease causing inflammation in the joints and resulting in painful deformity and immobility, especially in the fingers, wrists, feet, and ankles.
Triathlon gives me 3 disciplines to choose from so that I can often decide what I can do even on 'bad days'. Initially my feet were the most effected and running regularly has often been simply too painful and too difficult to sustain. These days my hands and wrists are by far the worst effected. I understand how someone can ask me how I could possibly train for something like a triathlon if I often struggle to get through my working day? Or consider such a physical test if I move around resembling a 90 year old woman for the first 2 hours of each day. (This is probably the real reason I'm not much of a morning person these days.) Podiatry work is daily battle at this time of year as the winter months bring more pain and flare ups. The reality is that I constantly have to use my hands at work for practical treatment, scalpel work, and handling of instruments whilst maintaining accuracy and fine attention to detail. This unfortunately wreaks havoc on the pain in my hands and if I'm completely honest here, I sometimes find myself shedding frustrated tears when alone in my consultation room, in between patient appointments, counting down to the end of my patient load or next chance to get to the heat pack. The second harsh reality associated with this is that my days in practical treatment of Podiatry have a deadline. At this stage it is dependent on how quickly I can finish my Psychology studies and move into the psychology field. I will probably talk about this more in future posts.
Fortunately the saviour of my sanity with all this, is that I can often still run when my hands are sore. I can swim with probably the least amount of pain, and the bike can be tolerated even though gripping those handle bars can sometimes be tough. So yes there is a hell of a lot of motivation about completing a couple of important triathlon events for me, that are tied into not being beaten down by this annoying auto-immune condition that I have.
Happiness is in the journey rather than the destination
I find it easiest to reflect and hold a mental workshop with myself in two scenarios. When I'm driving alone in my car, and when I am running. My brother and I have talked about the concept of 'moving meditation' before. That feeling of a clear mind and body whilst running or exercising, allowing whatever random thoughts to simply pass through and reaching an almost meditative state. As I've previously mentioned, I know that this occurs for me largely when I'm swimming. Running doesn't really give me this feeling. For me, when I'm running, I seem to be able to think more clearly, I can sort out problems in my head, and take on any uncomfortable thoughts or concepts I haven't wanted to deal with during my daily life. I get to 'live inside my head' during these times and I value it as important 'me' time. Cheaper than therapy? Definitely.
I recognise now that it has been running that has probably been the true catalyst in helping me recover from bouts of depression in the past. When I run I can sort out and face up to what I may have tried not to think about during other times when I have to wear my 'game face' and keep everything together. During some really low times that I have experienced, when I have walked around feeling completely numb and empty, it is when running that I have relished its feeling of physical pain and exertion as a reminder that I am alive, and that I can 'feel' something. It is no surprise that I ended up training for and running a marathon not too long after my previous marriage ended. When people sometimes say after a hard day 'I need to go for a run', I get it, I totally get it.
The good news about running, is that I also enjoy it when I'm in a happy place. Such as now, when I am probably the happiest and most content that I have been for a very long time. Therefore running and training also serves as a bonus level of happiness and motivation to add to my life. Most of us would include achieving happiness as one of our major life goals yet all too often we get so caught up in the continual strive for 'better' or 'more', or the tendency to believe we will be even happier when we get to Plan A or B, live in a particular place, have a certain job, start a family etc, etc... So we end up missing out on enjoying the present moment for what it is. I love the statement "Be happy for this moment, for this moment is your life." So true. Make sure you recognise when you are actually happy, because it is during these times that you are truly living your life in all its capacity.
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